It's finally over

I've been dreading today because it is the anniversary of Jacob's death. For the last year, I have grieved losing my sweet nephew. Everyday was the first of that date without him. There are no more firsts. We've survived all of the firsts. I have thought of him each of the last 365 days with varying degrees of grief. I have come to the conclusion that I will always miss him and that grief has no rhyme or reason. I wish I was a man sometimes - I wish I had a box I could go to in my mind to escape my thoughts. I have never known a grief like this. It intensified when we moved out of our house in OKC. I am very sentimental and I attach memories to places. Everywhere I looked in that house reminded me of moments with Jacob. It was so hard to leave a place that reminded me of so many sweet memories.

Today has been better than I expected it to be. God gave me two things: 1. He reminded me that while one year ago, we were preparing to celebrate Jacob's "official" entrance to the family, God was celebrating his entrance into heaven; and 2. God has comforted me in the form of a song, "It is Well With My Soul". He keeps reminding me that in all things, because I have God, it is well with my soul and that makes all the difference.

There would have been no way for my family to survive the last year without God's love, mercy and faithfulness. He has comforted each of us in such a variety of ways and through so many people. I am so blessed to be part of a family that has such a strong faith in God.

Goodbyes

Tonight is the last night that I will officially live in Oklahoma City, OK. Tomorrow morning, we will load up our "stuff" and head to Southwest Oklahoma and the town of Mountain View. It is amazing how hard it is to move. We have had to go through and decide what we will take with us and what we will need to sell. That has been tougher than I expected.

We said goodbye for now to our church family at Faith Crossing on Sunday. It was sad and sweet at the same time. We were blessed by the sweetest prayer I have ever heard. I was sad because I had made some good friends in our time there and I will miss them.

I am a very sentimental person and I attach memories and feelings to places. This house is the house that has my memories of Jacob. I hate to leave just for that reason. I see him in so many rooms of this house so it has made me very emotional to think of leaving it. (And yes, I cry over the memories of every house I live in when I say goodbye to the house - don't judge me :)

So tomorrow marks a great change in my life. Thank you friends who have prayed for us during this three year journey. I'll keep you informed of our new life.

Moving!

Well, my mother commented the other day, "You need to type a new blog!" So, as an obedient daughter, I am updating everyone on the happenings of the last week. On Sunday, July 12, the First Baptist Church of Mountain View, OK, called Brian to be their pastor. Since then, we have been involved in painting the parsonage, packing, preparing for a garage sale and having sick children. I wonder why it's taken me a few days to update my blog...hmm.

The church owns a very nice parsonage and we are looking forward to settling in to small town life. (We still need to sell our house, but at least we can go ahead and move without having to be separated.) There seem to be great opportunities for friendship and fellowship and best of all, there are several children around the same ages as our girls. It is kind of scary to be moving away from home and going where the closest WalMart Supercenter is 40 minutes away ;).

We plan to spend this next week finishing the painting we want to do (I have to have color on the walls) and getting ready for the garage sale on July 24 & 25. Brian's first official Sunday is August 2, 2009. We will spend the week before that moving and getting settled. It is a new adventure and we are looking forward to the things God has planned for us.

btw - we would love to have friends come and visit - only one and one-half hours from OKC.